FAQ - I wanna know more!

Do b*lls really need shampoo?

B*lls, scrotum, taint and all nether regions should be cleaned regularly. What you use to clean them is up to each individual user, but we prefer COHONES foaming shampoo, hence why we sell it.

Is this thing a joke?

Nope, although in our parents eyes we might be. Our product and company are really serious about ball cleaning and we work hard everyday to make the best foaming shampoo on the planet for your b*lls. 

Where is it made and where are you based from?

COHONES is proudly made in the USA, but ingredients are sourced from all over. We are a ragtag group of friends and lovers in Kansas City, and we just wanted to make the world a bit more fun, clean and honestly also make money 🤑. 

What's up with the bottle?

Our bottle is unique, special and purposely designed to massage and scrub your b*lls. Its applicator head has a soft scrub top that dispenses the foaming shampoo. Why is it good to massage? Several things, testicular cancer awareness, better blood circulation, cleanliness and of course it feels fantastic. 

What are the ingredients?

INCI: Water, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Glycerin, Sodium Chloride, FD&C Green No. 5,FD&C Green No. 3, Phenoxyethanol, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract, Ethylhexyglycerin, Camellia Sinensis (Green Tea) Leaf Extract.

What's up with the little airplane icon?

We like to travel and keep clean, so we are proud to say that we have the only balls shampoo that is TSA size approved for travel. 

Where do you guys ship?

We attempt to deliver everywhere in the world. Does that always work out? No, but life isn’t fun without risk. Don’t worry, we always ship with tracking numbers and offer free shipping inside the USA.

I didn’t like it, do you guys take returns?

No, brah. It’s ball shampoo, what are we gonna do with your used bottle? We have a better idea, if you get COHONES and don’t like it (which is a rarity) please put it in a box and mail it to your worst enemy or local government agency, with a nice note explaining to them they lack the COHONES to use such an awesome product.

What does first edition scent mean?

We like to keep things interesting, and so should your partners, it's the secret to happy relationships. That and cat-girl robots… anyways… we make 10,000 units of each scent and then start the next perfectly crafted batch to keep you guessing. As we grow and continue sales we will update bottle labels with new designs and scent names. On a side note, this allows you to be part of the hypothetical future COHONES museum, as bottles might become collectables. I mean who knows what’s possible, right? We promise it’s a good scent, though. You aren’t gonna walk out of the shower with horseradish smelling ball. 

Is the product vegan and gluten free?

No idea. But you shouldn’t eat foaming shampoo anyway. Also no animals were hurt or used for testing in our products. Only human trials are allowed at COHONES.

Can it be used on other body parts?

Yes, yes and oh yeah. If you like scrubbing and massaging, I mean go wild. 

Will it give me super powers or attract sexual partners? 

No, we don’t bullshit you with fake advertisements or promises, COHONES is a cool product that cool people use, but it's up to you to let everyone else know how cool and attractive you are. 

Why is the price $18.69?

Cause 1 is p*nis, 8 is b*lls … who doesn't like 69ing and free shipping. (Yes, we went to business school) 

What happens if I get a rash or negative reaction?

We manufacture in a top notch facility and follow all FDA guidelines. That being said, please stop if you notice anything weird and send us an email at big@cohones.shop with your bottle's LOT number located at the bottom.